Sunday, January 25, 2015

Winter? In Upstate NY? Really? No SHIT SHERLOCK! Buy a shovel & some salt!

It's WINTER and they're predicting more SNOW?
Oh my GOD let me lay down & hibernate because I NEVER EXPECTED THIS
living in Upstate New York! Oh SHUT up or move to Arizona!
This is how we rolled in the old days in Tillson!
Yes, a real fur coat & muff, while sitting on a bear skin blanket
on our horse drawn sled (that you see in the Budweiser ads)
This shit NEVER ceases to amaze me:
  1. They're predicting a snowstorm again tomorrow night. I know what the HELL are they thinking! By this time last year we were over 7 FEET under snow! My entire van was covered & I couldn't see it - period. This year is like SPRING - suck it up!
  2. It's winter - in northern NYS, why on EARTH does everyone rush to the store to get shovels and salt? Unless you've just moved here from California or Florida & have never seen snow - this is some stone age bullshit! Buy this crap before the snow you idiots!
  3. Stop your pissing bitching and moaning about it. Suck it up.
  4. Well that's how you would THINK people who live here actually do think. There's a forecast for snow OR it's actually falling and it never fails that these yahoos are piling into the stores for milk & bread (seriously you don't just keep that stuff in your house?) and shovels and salt. Ummm you LIVE in upsta...te NY - you seriously don't have a fucking SHOVEL or SALT? Unless this is your first winter living here from AZ, CA or some other place where you don't know what snow IS, this is mindboggling!
  5. I get a nice big bag of salt early in the season, most of which stays in the bag in the back of the car (for extra weight in ice or to save some poor person out there who isn't lucky enough - or smart enough - to drive a 4x4 like me - out of a mess they've accidentally gotten into out there) & I have a large coffee can filled with the stuff by my front door along with - wait for it - a SHOVEL! I know - smack your head on that one right? A shovel go figure! THEN these yahoos who lived up here most of their lives - drive like IDIOTS in the stuff!
  6. If you are going 20mph and/or braking upon every turn that is on the road - you are JUST as dangerous as the douche trying to go 55 in it. One of you is going to wrap your ass around a tree & probably going to take me with you! Folks I know it's a shocker but this is not the first nor will it be the last winter or snow we will have up here - get your heads out of your asses & prepare for it. Calgon take me away!
  7.  When it's cold and/or snowing, people piss, bitch & moan about it. These are the SAME people who are doing the SAME THING when it's hot in the summer! When it's 80 in the winter and 30 in the summer, THEN BITCH you dumbasses - it's called the Seasons - get used to it or move to Arizona where they don't have any! GOOD GOD!
  8. If you see someone out there stuck in this crap & you have a 4WD vehicle, stop & help them or at least wait for them if you can. Give them a ride somewhere. Are you truly in that much of a hurry that you can't? No, you're not.
  9. Unless you're a nurse, doctor, cop or fireman (etc.) who must be somewhere because you're saving lives for a living, DON'T venture out in this stuff - it's stupid & you're putting your own life as well as everyone else on the road's life, in danger. Stay put, view the beauty of the snow from inside your home. 
  10. If you have children, grandchildren, or you yourself are physically able (I'm not & I miss doing this) get outside, make a snowman, a snow angel, have a snowball fight, whip it out and piss in the snow (for the guys, if you're a girl & you can do it you are far more talented than most), pull out a board game or some cards & play some fantastic games together, read a BOOK (it's a bunch of papers with typing on it bound between thicker pages), watch an old movie, play charades or have a good old fashioned family dinner with conversation (I know that last one is a stretch) but DO SOMETHING to enjoy the day and don't bitch about it!!

     And we had several snow mobiles that we used in winter in the 60s/70's
    because we had enough snow to ride them daily & did errands for the
    neighborhood to the store in them! Yes indeed!


1 comment:

  1. Aww, sorry you can't play in it girl. Enjoy the view anyway!