Saturday, January 17, 2015

The Facebook Diaries Part 1

Welcome to today's installment of "LATJ". Today I'm addressing
Facebook & 10 of the things that aggravate me about it all.
I know what you're thinking: "just ONE installment?"
Trust that this will definitely NOT be the only one.
I have a stinking feeling there will be many parts to the
Facebook Diaries. 
  1. Seriously? You have to LIVE your life on Facebook???  How about be IN the MOMENT & just LIVE & post a collage to FB later?
  2. I know I'm going to sound like the old men when I was a kid with the "we walked 20 miles to a 1-room schoolhouse, barefoot, in the snow, without lunch and then had to come home and herd cattle and milk the cows" but HONESTLY: I came from a generation of playing outside, there were no video games, only about 3 channels on TV, you wouldn't even THINK about being inside on a nice day, or any day for that matter because you could always find some puddle to jump in. We didn't live with our phones to our face heck we didn't even have machines, call waiting or touch tone phones back then. We carried quarters in case of an emergency & didn't need to worry about updating our status on the internet.
  3. I JUST figured out (well barely) the "ticker" thing on the right side of the screen. What the HELL! I can see all of your business: what you like, what you say & who you friend. Which MEANS: you can see all the same of ME! I am NOT having this shit of people minding my fucking business! Who the HELL thought this was a good idea and is ok with it?  WHAT in the name of all that is good and holy in the world is UP WITH THAT.
  4. Put your damn cell phones down!! Stop "face timing", "tindering", 'pinning", "tweeting" & whatever you do & have some face to face time with whomever you're with so that when they look AT you, you're not looking down at your fucking cell phone.
  5. Myself or anyone else doesn't really have the need to know when you have your period, got laid, had a fight with someone, ate dinner, were constipated or anything else that is usually categorized as part of your "private life".
  6. STOP abbreviating! Words are words for a reason & all the stupid abbreviations like the one that annoys me the most "bae" need to STOP! We're raising a generation of illiterates. (I will address the "me" generation in another episode of LATJ). For crying out LOUD your smart phone or computer will give you a red squiggly line under a misspelled word so WHY is your English SO BAD? On that note do you realize that "ain't" is NOT an actual WORD but it will be in your auto correct - go ahead & check it out! YGBKM
  7. THIS is how we updated OUR status in the "old days" : bicycling or walking to our friends house, yelling across the yard, building a snowman, playing "king of the hill" on the dirt or simply dialing our rotary phones & seeing if our friend could come out & play.
  8. "top stories" versus "most recent": who the FUCK decides what's a "top story"? I should decide what's a top story!
  9. "trending": you DO know that in terms of celebrity stories "trending", you do know that those people have people who may even have their own people in a room somewhere with a million computers, phones & iPads who are MAKING that shit trend right? Don't buy into the hype!
  10. "check in" or "location tagging": I NEVER do this & don't appreciate if someone else takes the liberty to tag me somewhere. It's nobody's damn business where I am or where I've been unless I TELL THEM. Moreover, why do YOU want people to know you've been to church (don't get me started) or the gym. Do you know this has been a proven way for robbers to know you're not home, where your car is parked, what you're doing & where your CHILDREN are? (I will address the children on FB issues in another post as well.)  

(c) Jennifer Delora 2015