You Sir, Are a JACKASS

You sir (or Madame) are a jackass

(part one)

1. If you go on a talk show & brag about your illegal activities & wonder why the cops showed up at your house: You sir, are a jackass!
2. If you try to beat that red light, miss it and get t-boned by a semi: You sir, are a jackass!
3. If you pour rubbing alcohol on your body, light it up & get burned: You sir, are a jackass!
4. If you take nudie pics of your privates or your "junk" & you get hacked and act all surprised: You sir, are a jackass!
5. If you are walking & texting and are shocked when someone calls you every name in the book for being a douchebag,  You sir, are a jackass!
6. If you post your shit all over Facebook & are then surprised when someone nails your lying ass for your stupidity of thinking nobody would find OUT: You sir, are a jackass!
7. If you're on an airplane & kick the seat in front of you then act all surprised when that same person uses all their body weight & strength to slam that seat backwards into your knee: You sir, are a jackass! 
8. If you have sex without protection & are then shocked when someone gets knocked up, You sir, are a jackass! 
9. If you  put yourself on reality TV, slapping & talking smack about other people and act shocked when they talk the same right back at you: You sir, are a jackass! 
10. If you doubt the things I say are true or better yet call me a liar, you bitch need to get to steppin cuz I'm gonna put a 6" steel stiletto up your ASS in 3, 2, NOW 

 

Did you somehow DOUBT I ACTUALLY

had said shoes to shove up your ass?

I thought so!